Raja Jhank or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Loving Reality

Raja Jhank was a beloved Indian ruler back in the days.  One night after a big festival (ie after a LOT of Indian food and barfi) he went to bed; his queen was already snoring and it didn't take him long to doze off.  Only to be woken up by his General banging on the door shouting, "We are under a surprise attack!"  It was a particularly power-thirty King from the neighboring kingdom who had planned the attack, knowing full-well the week-long festival food and booze would have dulled the soldiers.

The Raja fought back hard, but the battle was lost after a few days.  The neighboring King burnt the royal palace to the ground and captured all of the Raja's family and as was his style, slaughtered them right in front of the Raja's eyes; he did not kill the Raja but banished him.

The Raja walked for three days, full of despair and hunger.  Finally he gave in to his hunger and pride and sat down outside a temple along with other beggars.  But to his utter despair, the food finished right before he could be served.

That proved to be too much for the Raja and he just collapsed right there in grief and wept uncontrollably before finally dozing off; only to be woken up by his queen saying, "What's wrong?!  You were crying in your sleep!"

He could not believe his eyes - he was back in his bed!  The queen sleepily said, "It was just a dream" and went back to sleep; but he could not.  A question just kept him awake, "Is this real or was that real?"  Of course, everything here felt real but so did everything in his dream.

The next few days, he could not function - he could not eat or sleep; only the question, "Is this real or was that real?" kept his attention.

Luckily for him (and the story), an enlightened Guru was in town and came to see him and this is the conversation that occurred (I wasn't around then, so it's paraphrased... ok, I was around, but I didn't take notes)

Guru: So Raja, let me ask you a question... does the hunger you experienced in your dream exist right now?

Raja: No, Sir, it does not

Guru: Ahh, so that was not real!  But before you start celebrating, let me ask you another question: when you were in your dream, did your royal palace and family exist?  

Raja: No, Sir, it most definitely did not!  

Guru: Ahhh, so this is not real either!!!  But before you fall into despair again, let me ask you another question... Does the one who experienced the dream still exist?

Raja: Er.. Sir, I guess that would be me - yes, I still exist.

Guru: Ahhh, there is your answer! The perceiver, you, is always real, but the perceived is not!  Indeed this dream of you being a Raja will also one day be over, but you, the experiencer of this dream will continue.