That night, my wife held me closely and tried all her charms to bring back her farmer. But I was too frightened of the world and no matter how hard I tried; I could not open up my fears to her. I could not sleep all night. Next morning, my wife suggested we go to the temple and visit the pundit.
I beamed at the thought. My family and I used to visit the temple on the full moon’s night and I vaguely recalled the pundit saying that we were all living in a dream. I could not wait to get to the temple. The pundit must know about my problem and would surely have a solution.
My wife and I walked to the temple. She was pleased to see me happy again. But my happiness was short-lived - as soon as I saw the pundit, I knew something was wrong. One look into his eyes told me what it was. He was sleeping too! In fact, he seemed to be sleeping even more deeply than I!
Greatly depressed, both of us returned home. This depression only got deeper by the day. My wife and children were visibly frightened of me and there was a heavy silence in the whole house. They talked in hushed voices and avoided me as much as possible.
I spent my days in bed or in front of the mirror. Once while I was staring into my eyes, I saw a sparkle of awake-fullness in them - they appeared radiant and full of splendor - but this moment was so brief that I dismissed it as an illusion due to fatigue.
Even though my wife forced food into my mouth, I became weak and after five days, I was so weak that I had difficulty getting up from my bed. Depression hung over me like never before. That night at sunset, I did something I hadn’t done in a long time - I prayed.
The pundit had said that all prayers are answered. Of course, I hadn’t believed him then and I believed him even less now, but there was no other hope. So I knelt on the side of the bed and prayed,
“O Creator, please wake me up.”
I was quite surprised to hear these words come out of my mouth. I surely hadn’t planned to say them; they had just come quite spontaneously. I felt a little better and a little lighter.
…next part
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