Later Bibi ji came to take me to the kitchen. I asked her “How does one become a Sikh?” She said “They must imbue themselves with the Guru’s Word.” There was so much to learn. But I was so thirsty to hear everything. I can’t explain even now, to myself what was happening to me. It was so bewildering. I just knew I did not want to leave Bibi ji’s side.
She said “Let’s go and sing.” She sang for one hour, the same line over and over,
The Guru’s Word is drenched with Ambrosial Nectar (sggs 449 Guru Raam Das)
She was weeping. I was weeping. A beautiful young girl wiped the tears from her face as she sang. I wondered where Bibi ji’s children and husband were. It was obvious to me that she was in some sort of deep mourning. I thought she must have lost a child. I learned later that this mourning was called “vairaag” by the Sikhs. It meant deep and urgent longing for the Guru. I felt so much love for her.
That evening when we went for sleep, I asked her if she would wake me too in the morning. She agreed, then disappeared beneath her shawl.
Early next morning, I was sleeping face down, I heard “SatNaam WaheGuru.” Just as I turned, she touched me, and I gasped. An electrical current shot though my body shocking me. “Are you ok?” she asked. I replied only that I had been startled. How could I explain?
Beside her I felt utterly filthy, to my soul. I started weeping, I couldn’t stop myself, “Not even the Guru’s Word can ever clean me,” I sobbed. She put her arms around me, lovingly and said, “No, my precious child, the Guru can wash you clean in an instant.”
Later, we went to join the others. We heard “SatNaam WaheGuru” over and over again. Everyone together, in once voice was calling “WaheGuru”; it was very comforting.
When I met my husband again, I said, “I want to become the Guru’s.” He looked deeply into my eyes and smiled. It felt as though he touched my soul.
…next part
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