4/16/08

Warrior 6 - Longing

I spent many months drunk in this bliss of the Guru's Word. Slowly spring arrived. I would go out and eat fresh fruit. I would visit the river everyday and play in its lap. I discovered the river too sang the Word! Indeed everything - trees, wind, animals – sang the Word. In fact, everything had always sung the Word - I just hadn't heard it before.

I would sometimes imagine how this Guru would be. But no matter how hard I tried, I could not even begin to imagine the wonder of this Guru whose Word was so enchanting. Then I started experiencing a new feeling within me - I started missing the Guru. It was quite beyond me to think how I could miss someone who I had never seen. But I felt immensely close to the Guru. He appeared to be closer to me than even my own self. This feeling deepened so much that it consumed me all day and all night. I felt that he was near me. I felt that he was loving me - nay, I felt that he was in love with me.

My hunger to see him turned into a passion - a burning passion. I could no longer sleep - not even for a moment. I could no longer eat – not even a bite. I could no longer think of other - not even for a moment. I would spend the whole day lost in his remembrance. Sometimes this craving for him would swell inside me so much that in desperation I would run outside and shout, "I love you" over and over again to the sky. After I was spent, I would come back and with a sigh sit down and continue listening to the Word. I knew that I could not bear his separation much longer.

All I could think of was how he would look. How he would talk. How he would look at me. How I would touch his feet. How I would shyly tell him that I loved him. How I would live and die for him.
Then one morning, long before dawn, I was sitting with closed eyes listening to the Word when suddenly I felt sunshine on me. Quite surprised, I opened my eyes.

He stood at the entrance of the cave!

The intense white light emitting from him sent waves of coolness into me. He was dressed in pure white - his turban was majestic. His clothes were flowing. His two swords were shining. I cannot even begin to describe his eyes: they were breathtakingly beautiful. Their golden glow put a thousand sunrises to shame. Their gentleness surpassed the softness of a thousand roses.

I just sat there in rapture drinking the bliss from the glow of his face. After several minutes, I came to my senses. I knelt down and said, "Welcome, this servant awaits your commands."

He walked into the cave and motioned me to raise my hands.

He then placed the Sword of SatNaam in my hands.

A downward-facing flower appeared inside me from nowhere. Suddenly, a golden ray traveled from the Sword of SatNaam and flooded the flower. With full glory, the flower bloomed.

Along with the flower, I bloomed. I became the flower. From the bottom of my stem, nectar arose. It traveled upwards filling every part of me with bliss. My petals glowed with a deep red color. Each part of me was maddeningly drunk with nectar. Each part of me was singing with indescribable joy. Each part of me was bowing to the Guru in thankfulness.

...next part

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